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Seven Seas Journal 1

"Come sail the Seven Seas with me, it'll be fun," he said.

I have been crazy busy working as of late, I was on the verge of burning out, so sure, I could do with working on my tan, in my most tasteful white bikini.

So there I was, lying on the ship, sunglasses down and sipping on a cosmopolitan. I am living in my influencer era, enjoying the sunshine and the subtle rock of the waves. The still and the silence.

"Hey! What herbs and spices do you think are in this thing?" Detlev tosses something in my direction. I am slow to react; it lands on my bare stomach with a loud thud.

I glance down, peering over the top of my sunglasses and to my horror, it's a dead, skinned bird, a Kentucky Fried Seagull to be exact.

I squeal. Civilisation hears me. Dogs cower. I am slow to react, flail about and fall out of the lounger with a thud. Detlev is laughing, really laughing. He is hanging onto the sails, holding to his sides with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Did you guys hear that?" Erica's voice cracked over the radio, her ship at least a good 25-30 kms away.

"Det's an asshole," I replied on the radio, fuming that my heart is racing and has plummeted into my asshole in fright.

"Well, we could have this for dinner if you'd rather?" Detlev says, tossing a fresh squid my way. Instinctively, I try to catch it before realising what it is. I see it, stare at its beady eyes and scream. The squid inks in fright; the bikini is ruined.

"Hey! Don't play with our dinner!" Detlev howls with laughter, barely able to stand at this point. "No, seriously, did you guys hear that?" Erica's voice crackled over the radio again.

This is only the start of the adventure, and at this point, Detlev would be safer swimming in the ocean. I am currently plotting my revenge.