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1950. found true beauty.

what was the definition of beauty?

was it something purely physical? was it a feeling? she felt as if she was grasping at straws as she thought about it.

for years, she had struggled with her self-image and -worth. she didn't know why anyone would want to stay by her side, especially as she discovered the feeling of being a failure more than once. she had never intended to spend her life as a single mother, struggling with juggling teaching as well as giving sage the appropriate amount of attention.

he was getting older now, allowing her to have more time for herself.

she missed the days of him being a bumbling, precocious toddler. but with those happy times had come times of immense loneliness and uncertainty. being alone felt like she didn't have a safety net with her. how could she be the comforting arms her son needed when she felt like she needed a set of arms to collapse into? she hadn't felt an embrace like that in quite some time.

it was never meant to be. she had always been a hopeless romantic, wanting to find someone who would fulfill all of her dreams. maybe it was her lofty dreams that had led her relationship to end in the first place?

and who would want to step into a pre-built family anyway? she had stopped trying long ago. she wanted to learn to admire the beauty of the world around her without having to rely on anyone else.

but as the years dragged on, she began to sense a lack of peace. dark thoughts clouded her mind. she didn't feel like a good mother. she felt less and less like someone who could be girlfriend (never mind wife) material. she felt like damaged goods at best, and completely unlucky at worst.

throwing herself out there never felt like an option.

but keeping to herself felt even worse. how could she teach herself that she was beautiful, both inside and out? she could never hear it coming from her own voice. even when sage complimented her, it wasn't the same.

rosie needed more.