Latest Blog Post

another one on the way

He asked. He insisted. He played me like only he knows how. I got angry, rolled my eyes, said no again and again, and yet somehow I always ended up beneath him. Or riding him like I never meant a single word I said. How am I supposed to resist my husband? I don’t think I can. And if you can, maybe you’re with the wrong man.

Noelle is a dream. But I lived most of my life convinced I’d never have children. The doctors gave their verdicts, I accepted it. And then she arrived. I remember pressing her to my chest and feeling a kind of joy that almost broke me with its intensity.

Liūtas kept saying how perfect she was. That we had to make another one. That these genes couldn’t go to waste. But I didn’t forget. I didn’t forget the pain in that hospital room while he came in smelling like beer. I didn’t forget how he reacted when I told him I was pregnant. And I sure didn’t forget how raw I felt during the entire pregnancy.

What I didn’t expect was how badly he’d want another one. How much time and fire he’d pour into getting through to me. How he’d whisper things while kissing the breath out of me. How he’d use his hands, his mouth, his body to convince me in ways that had nothing to do with reason and everything to do with want.

And maybe I never said yes. Not out loud. But it seems fate took his side anyway. If Liūtas wants another one, it’s happening. Whether I agreed or not, my body seems to have made the decision for us.

Now I only hope that through the madness of concerts and sleepless nights, this time my body holds up better. That he’s learned something. That he remembers I’m not just the woman who gives him children. I’m his wife. The one who still wants him every night, as long as he keeps the vows he once made when no one else was listening. Just me and him. Everything he promised between my lips and thighs.