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Post-mortem

As anger and sadness battled for the spotlight in his mind, apathy claimed it while the conflict raged on, staring blankly as memories turned to ash.

What happened wasn't something born out of the heat of the moment. It had been a slow death, going on for weeks as he desperately tried to fight for something that got lost along the way, holding onto unfounded hope because the thought of letting go terrified him more than enduring a life that could have been but wasn't. Constantly pouring his heart out to the one person who could soothe it's aches only to find his words soon forgotten, his warnings ignored and his worries met with promises which never saw fulfilment. Yet still he held on because he refused to give up that which he knew they could have, that moment when he met a girl who made him willingly shift his entire life, to whom he gave his heart and soul on a silver platter with the most disgustingly happy smile on his face. But that girl was gone. The light in her eyes had dimmed, the fire in her soul reduced to embers, becoming a shell which acted as a cruel reminder of who she used to be but wasn't anymore. And as time went on and the decline continued, the cracks in his heart deepened until it shattered along with his rose-tinted glasses, and he simply couldn't recognize the person in front of him anymore. That was not who he fell in love with. And so heaven burned.

It had taken him far too long to confide in those close to him, fearing that giving voice to those worries with others would make them more real and worse somehow. But now he understood how mistaken he had been, as it was only the outpour of support he received from his friends and newfound family which kept him holding onto the thread of sanity which threatened to snap at any point. And he'd hold onto it fiercely as he walked into the uncertain future with shaky steps.