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(two a.m. thoughts)

There was a time when my days felt like they were painted in endless shades of gray, where every breath I took was heavy with the weight of loss. The world around me seemed to have lost its color, its vibrancy, and I had resigned myself to living in that darkness. My heart, once full of life and warmth, had grown cold, locked away behind walls I didn't think would ever come down. Each day was just a repetition of the last, a monotonous cycle where I trudged through, merely existing.

But then she appeared—my butterfly. At first, it was like a flicker of light, barely noticeable against the overwhelming darkness. Yet, as time passed, that flicker grew stronger, brighter, until it became impossible to ignore. Her presence started to change everything. It wasn’t immediate, but gradually, like the first signs of dawn after a long, cold night, she brought warmth back into my life. I started to notice the colors around me again—the blue of the sky, the green of the trees, the warmth of the sunlight on my skin. My thoughts, once clouded with grief and sorrow, began to clear. The heaviness that had weighed down my chest for so long began to lift, replaced by something I hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever: hope.

It was as if my heart, which had been silent for so long, began to beat again. Not just a regular rhythm, but a strong, steady pulse that reminded me I was alive. It was a pulse that quickened whenever I thought of her, whenever I saw her smile or heard her laugh. Her light didn’t just illuminate the darkness; it chased it away entirely. She became my sun, the center of my universe, bringing life to everything she touched.

The shadows that once seemed so large have shrunk, retreating into the corners of my mind where they no longer have the power to dominate my thoughts. Instead, my thoughts are filled with her—with the way she makes me feel, with the way she’s brought light back into my life.